Empower Yourself

THERE'S MORE THAN ONE TYPE OF ABUSE

ECONOMIC ABUSE:

Economic or financial abuse is when an abusive partner extends their power and control into the area of finances. This abuse can take different forms, including an abusive partner:

Giving an allowance and closely watching how you spend it or demanding receipts for purchases
Placing your paycheck in their bank account and denying you access to it
Preventing you from viewing or having access to bank accounts
Forbidding you to work or limiting the hours that you can work
Maxing out credit cards in your name without permission or not paying the bills on credit cards, which could ruin your credit score
Stealing money from you or your family and friends
Using funds from children’s savings accounts without your permission
Living in your home but refusing to work or contribute to the household
Making you give them your tax returns or confiscating joint tax returns
Refusing to give you money to pay for necessities/shared expenses like food, clothing, transportation, or medical care and medicine
Blackmailing you into staying by threatening to take away funds for you, or you and your family/children

EMOTIONAL ABUSE:

You may be in an emotionally abusive relationship if you partner exerts control through:

Calling you names, insulting you or continually criticizing you
Refusing to trust you and acting jealous or possessive
Trying to isolate you from family or friends
Monitoring where you go, who you call and who you spend time with
Demanding to know where you are every minute
Punishing you by withholding affection
Threatening to hurt you, the children, your family or your pets
Humiliating you in any way
Blaming you for the abuse
Gaslighting (making you question your own feeling and sanity)
Accusing you of cheating and being often jealous of your outside relationships
Serially cheating on you and then blaming you for his or her behavior
Cheating on you intentionally to hurt you and then threatening to cheat again
Cheating to prove that they are more desired, worthy, etc. than you are
Attempting to control your appearance: what you wear, how much/little makeup you wear, etc.
Telling you that you will never find anyone better, or that you are lucky to be with a person like them

PHYSICAL ABUSE:

You may be experiencing physical abuse if your partner has used or repeatedly used any of the following tactics of abuse:

Pulling your hair, punching, slapping, kicking, biting or choking you
Forbidding you from eating or sleeping
Damaging your property when they’re angry (throwing objects, punching walls, kicking doors, etc.)
Using weapons to threaten to hurt you, or actually hurting you with weapons
Trapping you in your home or keeps you from leaving
Preventing you from calling the police or seeking medical attention
Harming your children
Abandoning you in unfamiliar places
Driving recklessly or dangerously when you are in the car with them
Forcing you to use drugs or alcohol (especially if you’ve had a substance abuse problem in the past)

POWER AND CONTROL EQUITY WHEEL

NOTE: "POWER IS MEANT TO BE A GIFT OR SPECIAL TRAIT IN ONE'S PERSONALITY".

NOTE: "Power is meant to be a gift or special trait in one's personality".

BLUE-CREATOR

Deer "Waawaashkeshi": Gental People
Represents the Deer Clan of the people, which were given the power to be pacifists. It is also said the Deer Clan would not use harsh words and were also known as poets and artistic people.

WHITE-NORTH

Fish "Giigoo": Intellectuals
(Turtle is King of the Fish Clan)
Represents the Fish Clan of the people, which were given the power to be "star gazers". They were known for their constant pursuit of meditation and philosophy.

BLACK-WEST

Loon "Maang": Chieftainship
Represents the Chieftainship Clan, which were given the power of Chieftainship. These people were given the qualities of natural leadership.

PURPLE-HEALING

Bear "Makwa": Police and Herbal Medicine People
Represents the Bear Clan, which were given the power to keep the village safe from harm. The Bear Clan was also given the power to gather plants for medicine to heal people.

RED-SOUTH

Crane "Ajijack": Chieftainship
Represents the Chieftainship Clan, which were given the power of Chieftainship. These people were given the qualities of natural leadership.

GREEN-MOTHER EARTH

Marten "Waabizheshi": Warriors
Represents the Warrior Clan, which were given the power to protect the village at all times.

YELLOW-EAST

Eagle "Migizi": Spiritual Leader
Bird "Binesi": Spiritual Leader
Represents the Spiritual Leaders Clan of the people, which were given the power in having a sense of knowledge of what the future would bring.

ASPIRE APP FOR SMART PHONES

ASPIRE News is a free application which contains summaries of top stories in world, sports, and entertainment news, from the When Georgia Smiled: Robin McGraw Foundation (and powered by Yahoo!).

Additionally, if someone you know is in an abusive relationship—or if that someone is you—the Help Section of the application contains resources for victims of domestic violence.

This app does not serve as a replacement for emergency services—in any situation where you feel that you may be at risk, please dial 911 or your local emergency number.

FOR IPHONES: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/aspire-news/id733163167?ls=1&mt=8

FOR ANDROIDS: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.collectiveray.aspire&hl=en

WHAT IS A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP?

THE FACTS:

A woman is beaten every 15 seconds. (Bureau of Justice Statistics, Report to the Nation on Crime and Justice.)
Ninety-five percent of the victims of domestic violence are women. (Violence Against Women, June 1992, The National Women's Health Resource Center.)
Domestic Violence is the leading cause of injury to women between the ages of 15 and 44 in the United States -- more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined. (Uniform Crime Reports, Federal Bureau of Investigation, 1991.)
As many as one-quarter to two -thirds of battered women report abuse during pregnancy. (Violence Against Women, June 1992, The National Women's Health Resource Center.) Battered women are more likely to suffer miscarriages and to give birth to babies with low birth weights. (Surgeon General, United States, 1992.
Sixty-three percent of the young men between the ages of 11 and 20 who are serving time for homicide have killed their mother's abuser. (March of Dimes, 1992.)
Women of all cultures, races, occupations, income levels, and ages are battered -- by husbands, boyfriends, lovers, and partners. (Surgeon General Antonia Novello, as quoted in Domestic Violence: Battered Women, a publication of the Reference Dept. of the Cambridge Public Library, Cambridge, MA.)
One in five women victimized by their spouses or ex-spouses report they had been victimized over and over again by the same person. (The Basics of Batterer Treatment, Common Purpose, Inc., Jamaica Plain, MA.)
Battering is the establishment of control and fear in a relationship through violence and other forms of abuse. The batterer uses acts of violence and a series of behaviors, including intimidation, threats, psychological abuse, isolation, etc. to coerce and control the other person. The violence may not happen often, but it remains as a hidden (and constant) terrorizing factor. (Uniform Crime Reports, Federal Bureau of Investigation, 1990.

National Domestic Violence Fact Sheet

Wisconsin Domestic Violence Fact Sheet

Sexual Assault Fact Sheet

For local referrals and confidential counseling, please call New Day Shelter at 715-682-9565 or toll free 1-800-924-4132, or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).